Blake Bribes Bill?

Has anyone else noticed that the only thing that made the old Baretta series more interesting than the trial is that the series had Fred? (Or was Fred the guilty one?)

Oh Robert you have done it now,
Did you murder the silly damn cow,
We all know the rhyme,
Do the crime and it's time,
That you'll sit in the ol' hoosegow.

So now it's up to the cards,
The crowds as well as the bards,
To find the verity,
A Hollywood rarity,
To see if her life he marred.

The circus is now in full swing,
Now it's a bribe they say is the thing;
Is it really a joke,
With all of this smoke,
For CNN to boost their rating?

Dione does Dade

The other night over at BackWash, a late night as you'll be able to tell from the verse, we got into what might be construed as the limerical (is that a word?) version of Dueling Banjos over Dione Warwick's recent brush with Miami's finest.

I haven't asked the permission of the author of the other side of the "duel", so these are a little one sided - just think of these as though they're played with a few strings missing ;)

Oh yes, here's where I've got to get into the ol' disclaimer routine: The law is the law, regardless of how ridiculous you may believe it to be - so, in spite of the poetic license used here, this does not advocate the breaking of any really silly laws.


It was off to LA she should fly,
When security awake did spy,
Some weed as it were,
As right behind her,
A terrorist walked through, right by.

While going through fine Miami-Dade,
Was when by the cops she was made;
"It's for my eyes, is the pot,
For that's all that I got,
When you're me you're not getting laid."

Now Warwick got busted for pot,
In Miami it was she got caught.
For taking a hit,
Of some really good shit,
In the US it'll mean you'll be shot.

What'll her psychic friends say,
Since they found her hidden cache?
She had all of the stuff,
So they'll be sober enough,
To be glad that it was she and not they.

Yep, now she's up the ol' creek,
Between bars it's now that she'll peek,
It's a whole new joint,
She'll get to anoint,
Surrounded by fences electrique.

Now how can you bend laws, not break?
When high and more than half bake;
She was caught with the shit,
So in jail she'll sit,
'Til they send her a file ina cake.

Now we all know that laws were a broken,
She was caught with the weed for a tokin'
Perhaps now with NORML,
Those laws will be less formal;
Else we'll all have to move to Michoacan.

Mini-Putt

Okay, I'm not starting out with humour but a little useless trivia. Actually it's not really that useless in that, hopefully, it will help save you some time so that you don't waste your hours away learning how to play this silly game. You can waste your hours away playing some other silly game instead ;)

So, with a curse to be people who scripted the game Mini-Putt (you'll require Flash in order to play it) and some instructions to help you on your way let's see if you can beat my best score of 23. If you have any suggestions or comments, feel free to let me know - even if I do ignore them :p


Hole 1:

Place the ball at the front, about 1/5 from the left side and aim so that the last yellow dot is touching the right hand side of the narrow corridor at the half way mark. Good for a hole in one.

Hole 2:

Place the ball at the upper right hand corner. Aim for the back hole, the yellow dots a little over half way to the first hole. It'll often be a bank shot that comes back to the last hole. If you get it in that hole you'll get a hole in one.

Hole 3:

Ball front and center. Aim for the hole, last yellow dot about 80% of the way to the first grey wall. Good for a hole in one.

Hole 4:

Ball upper right hand corner. Aim for the bottom corner of the dog leg with the yellow dot ending where the green shading changes. This should get you behind the grey barrier below. Good for a 2 (1 under par), sometimes lucky and get a hole in one.

Hole 5:

Ball top center. Aim with the third yellow dot in the middle betweeen the grey wall and the right hand side of the base. Good for a hole in one.

Hole 6:

Ball top left corner. Bank it with a powerful shot, the second dot from the ball aimed about 1/3 from the right on the bottom wall. It'll get you into the other section for a second shot and a hole in 2.

Hole 7:

Ball top center. Aim straight for the hole, the last yellow dot almost to the end of the wooden plank on the other side of the clown head. Hole in one.

Hole 8:

Ball top left corner. Powerful shot, the first yellow dot, closest to the ball, about one inch to the left of the mat on the bottom wall. Usually you'll bounce through to the last part of the corridor and get a second shot for a hole in 2 or 2 under par. Sometimes it takes a third shot.

Hole 9:

Ball 1/5 from the left and an equal distance down from the top of the mat. End yellow dot about 1/3 inch short of the red loop, aiming for about 3/4 of the way along the "entrance", as measured from the left. Good for a hole in one.

Hole 10:

Ball bottom right. Aim to bank off of the end of the far right hand small wall in the middle. Sometimes good for a hole in one, usually two shots for 1 under par.

Hole 11:

Ball upper right hand corner. Aim so that the second yellow dot is almost touching the end of the small wood barrier in the middle. Good for a hole in one.

Hole 12:

Ball on the left, just slightly above center so that it can roll along the wooden barrier in the middle. Last yellow dot positioned just past where the green changes shades in the middle. Good for a hole in one.

Hole 13:

If you get your timing right you can get a hole in one by doing a straight shot. Otherwise it's best to aim to the left or right, into one of the side tunnels and then take a second shot into the hole once you're on the other side. Good for 1 under par.

Hole 14:

Ball top left corner. Aim slightly to the right of the hole. Yellow dot about 7/8's of the way to the hole. Usually misses and goes by it (sometimes lucky for a hole in one) and you get a second shot from the other side, fairly close to the hole. Make certain to adjust for the slope and you should get par.

Hole 15:

Ball top left corner. Aim with the third yellow dot at the far wall in line with the first grey barrier. Often hole in one, sometimes a second shot required for one under par.

Hole 16:

Ball center of the mat. Aim with second yellow dot on the center of the bottom wall. Usually good for a hole in one. Sometimes second shot required.

Hole 17:

Ball bottom right. Medium hard shot with yellow dot about 1 1/2 inches from the mat on the top wall. Gets you around the bend for a second shot into the hole. Two under par.

Hole 18:

Ball top left corner. Aim so that the yellow dots are almost touching the grey barrier, the end one about a 1/2 inch short of the hole. Usually good for a hole in one, sometimes a second shot for par.